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I wrote a doll parody. It’s a screenplay.  

I will try to advertise and, hopefully, sell a screenplay on the side of my car.
Odds of success? I estimate 2%. So why bother?

Hmmmmmm . . . .

Let’s make that in the form of a test question.

                 Why would Brice advertise on the side of his automobile?
  A. Because he had a dream in a past life he was a wholly mammoth.
  B. Because LA is expensive and he needs the moolah.
  C. It’s tacky, but why not?
  D. Because he has a big ego and maybe some tendencies of narcissism,
      and the dude likes to be on stage!
  E. Only the wise guru on the mountain top really knows.
 

I volunteer no answers.

Seriously, I have a writing sample from the screenplay ready to go online, and I will try to get around to it soon. It was delayed.

Truth is, I sustained a significant acoustic trauma about 1 month ago, and I have been busy trying to heal. After the injury, other things in my life took a backseat. They still do. Long story short, I walked through a tunnel that allowed pedestrians and autos. Hey, everything was going fine, just a walk through a concrete tunnel. And then a large, very loud motorcycle rolled by, and I have never heard such a loud echo noise. I could feel the noise vibration thumping on my rib cage. What could I do? I covered my ears, but still I was left with possible inner ear damage, a lot of pain, eardrum damage, headaches and, to be honest, I’m sort of traumatized by the injury. A lot of sleepless nights and stress the past month. I have heard a lot of motorcycles in my nightmares.  I’ll never walk through a tunnel again unless I have earplugs and earmuffs for sound protection.

My mind just hasn’t been on trying to sell a screenplay, I just want to get back to being my normal, healthy, goofy self instead of sitting around with burning pain in ears. I didn’t lose hearing (ahhh, that I know of, fingers crossed) but, hopefully temporarily, I gained a very, very rare type of high frequency hearing. But it’s not a blessing to hear water in the walls or a car engine running halfway down the street. It’s painful -- turning a page in a book is painful, tearing aluminum foil pains my ears -- and I get woken up 30 times a night. Every little noise jolts me awake. Man was not meant to have the hearing of a German Shepard. Okay, I know, lousy joke.     
 

Learn from my painful mistake. If you walk or bicycle through tunnels (short or long) for any reason, take with some cheap foam earplugs just in case! I am not joking. Learn from my misery. I will be recovering for months I suspect. Not fun! Remember earplugs! I’m from Florida. How many tunnels in flat Florida? Not many. I didn’t realize the echo loudness until it was too late.

 

I will do my best to post a screenplay writing sample soon.
 

What does the sign on my car right now say? Read below.  Alas, someday – who knows when? – I will return to driving a car without self-promotion.

Last  week  I  typed  a  parody  screenplay  and  in  late  March  or early April  I  am  going  to try  and  advertise  it  on  the  side  of  my  car. Has  a  screenplay  ever  sold  on  a  car? 
Who  knows?  Then  again,  who  cares?

In  my  screenplay,  a  living  doll  is  coming  to  the  valley!  She’s  tall,  she’s  blonde,  she’s  beautiful  and  she  needs  a  podiatrist  fast.  Plus,  she’s  discovered  doll  power, 
so  “lock  up  the  vitamins”  and,  yes,  that  is  a  line  of  dialogue  in  the  script. 
 

Screenplay  has  quirky  characters,  a  lot  of  purple,  comical  flashbacks,  goofy  dialogue,  foolish  but  memorable  songs, feet  in  trouble  and,  yes,  even   a  monologue --  or  maybe  it  should  be  called  a  humorous  tirade  --  about  the  difficulties  of  being  a  woman  in 
today’s   macho  society.